February 22, 2013

  • the sun

     Sometimes, i am reminded at how much i would have given up , if i had succeed in killing myself when i was younger and gravely disillusioned. today i woke up and was thinking about a single strobe of sunlight, the deepest yellow in the darker embrace of the place. it was morning and , though i don’t know what it was that woke me at 7am , i began to recall this scene.
    the chaotic swirling of dust particles like mad galaxies following the erratic ritual of the thermal vent and it’s providence on earth.the light’s boundaries proving to be an illusion because the specks would just drift unanimously in their own path and fashion regardless.such spectacles made the idea of birds flying on thermal updrafts identifiable and feasible, for i could see individual specks flying as if they were golden eagles held aloft by the hands of the warmth.
    every now and then a brilliant flash would remind me of the galaxy image as the dust goes unrestricted upwards sometimes going out of view in the brilliant contrast and back into view higher up.
    the thing about light is, it always shows you what little you do actually see of the world, not what it is that you have always seen.the rich light of sunlight is the teacher of all animals and we all learn from it’s gift of expression.sunlight gives us knowledge and warmth, companionship on days when we are alone, either at work in a field or just walking through the park seeking a new object for adoration, it is the sunlight that shows us the true beauty of things.
    i cant say that i have seen the richness of greens in plants as deep or meaningful as i have seen them in sunlight.for me, sunlight has always brought providence and knowledge.it has aided me in my meager human mind understanding of what true faith is, for i can tell you that as long as life has existed there has been sunlight to lead the ambition of that entity onward.the human mind is no exception to this rule. the sun gives us such good knowledge.
    i remember when i finally came around to my senses about my drinking, it was at dawn.me and the sun talking to each other in an ancient language that only our deepest ancestors know and understand.it was asking me why i was doing the things i do. why it came to pass in the reflection, something only light can create, am i hurting myself for things that i have no real control over.
    our ancient ancestors, before we were humans even met with the sun on its own terms and proved worthy of it’s respect. we fought it through tormenting deserts and our spirits shone in equal brightness.we succeeded because the sun, in its magnanimous way led us to where we could find respite. it taught us to survive in the worst of worlds and trained us to seek its companionship when times were needed.
    the sun gives life, even to the darkest reaches of space and all of matter recognizes the magnificence to the sun.it is drawn to it. from miles that can never make coherent sense.but even in its simple ,single form , the sun is beautiful. the single ray of light can give a cat the most relished position in an entire place, such contentment, such acceptance.they say it is the small things that matter in life, actually it is the things that are immensely huge beyond fathom, and how they can surreptitiously affect us in small ways both profound and eternally present.
    it is only when we turn our back on the majesty of the sunrise and the sunset that we seem to get lost in the darkness of our imagined fears.the sun, seeks to wipe those fears and show you what is really there.unbiased and unchanged. it shows you cause to believe in the universe , shows you a world that is unchanged and ancient in its ways.gives you hope and foundation.cause well, basically that is the way it has been.all changes , on earth, involve the sun.the sun remains probably the single most important knowledge next to the advent of self awareness.
    never give up on yourself, never believe that the way you see is the way things are, the sun will always tell you different, always tell you to wait, one more day, because in it’s wisdom it controls the day.it is hard to believe that at one time i was willing to give up this jewel , this incredible gem, with a beauty so brilliant that i cant see it directly for all it’s greatness, like the eyes of ancient Greek gods. so great and so grand,so powerful and so needed. the sun is life, it gives us meaning in life. with it the coolness of water , the welcome perception of night would have no basis.colors, so rich and grand with the magical life of sunlight would have no vibrancy,nor meaning. there would be no course,no ambition..no life.
    i realize now, i would never give the sun up.i would never give up life.you see, the sun is life’s best friend.it seems only fitting that the sun will take the earth before it dies, an earth with no sun is lifeless.
    do not ever give up on nature.it is the education of our ancestors that taught them how to face things we , in modern times could never imagine.if you have trouble at job,modern ideas of living, stupid social stuff or anything, trust in nature, it has seen this story under the sun many times.just believe in it.it usually works out.
    then, i had a coffee and the human idiocy sinks in.the memory of the sunbeam leaves my mind, rhetoric and mathematics of all types enter my mind, but not without knowing, that for a brief second i had once had a conversation with the sun. you see, the sun taught me to look forward to everyday with anticipation and want of exploration, because the sun taught me to live.
    have a great day.

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