MEMORIES IN A DARK NIGHT

 

  Coffee is a pseudo religious experience for those who appreciate it. Even instant coffee can have euphoric effects if imbued under maintained self prescribed levels. Caffeine and its psychoactive propriety towards conversation are legendary. I wanted to have a special coffee, at the coffee store near where I live. So once there and with the cup of desired elixir in my hand I took a seat with a lady I met in passing from a previous well intentioned outing. ‘Hello Donna, mind if I join you?’ she beckoned acquiescence and began to tell me her daily planned scheduled roster. The last item was talk to her lawyer, ‘I got to make sure I am home for his call.’ Coffee, coursing it’s intellectually “symbiant” form through my veins caused me to ask simple why?

  She is finally of great hope that she will get full custody of her 13 year old son. It has been a hellish ride for her. This maternal victory is a great inspiration for her. Which is great, I mean I totally agree, however, when she trailed words of the father participation and I heard the ‘brainwashing him (son)’, I kind of perked my inner ear up. I have heard that before. She took her leave and my mind was racing to events in my past, this need I had when I was younger at 30 to write a story. I felt I had to convey back then. It was something and an awareness I never really acquitted. The remainder of that caffeine effervescence was spent isolating the fiction from the truth back in those days.

  That night, I was remembering phantasms of old days. The two old lovers of mine that I would spend hours listening to when they would relate their trauma of the exe boyfriend and their incurring abuse regarding the children that the union of those two adults had been awarded. Grace is an unmerited gift, to some, and grace sometimes comes hidden amongst angst and trial. The next morning I informed Donna that I intend to write a story that I have wanted to write for a very long time. That if she would participate, I think I can pull this off. She wholeheartedly agreed and I set off on this journey with voice voices and my willingness to listen.

 

MEDIUM HAWIAN PLUS OLD ROCK, DASH OF REMINISCING

  A few days went by and I went to see Donna. We ordered a pizza and she put on a classic rock station. The day was cloudy but patches of blue shone through. It was time. Donna ate a slice and sat on the couch across from me. Relaxed and began her story.

 Her son’s father was a heavy substance abuser. The way of life previous to the breakup was therefore highly erratic. He did however manage to keep a roof and food in the fridge for them. Concerns such as drinking and driving were common plagues of her mind every time he went out with their son. The fear of never knowing what would happen, compounded by the natural parental need to protect their child caused a obsessive fear alone. There was one episode of physical abuse, witnessed by the son and verbal abuse carried from the start to well beyond the separation. Even with a daily life raked with the chaotic nature of a practicing substance abuser, she still strung on to the security of the family unit. The breakup came from his desire to expand on his joyride lifestyle.

  The Stones played Jumping jack flash, while I watched the steamy mozzarella stretch, I asked ‘Did you ever bring this up to the court?’

  ‘Once he even admitted to her lawyer that he was a drug and alcohol abuser. It was the last court date. He was questioned by her lawyer outside as too why he didn’t pay the child and spousal support, equaling 2200 a month. He was negligent up to this court date. He used that as his excuse.’ Then she added, they wanted a criminal records check on each of us. She was fairly secure in this, as she had no record; in fact she was once an active worker in the security and surveillance industry. The exe who had a criminal record proved apparently non consequential towards the son at the age of 12 deciding that he wanted to go live with his father. She was wholly dependant on the exe for roof and food at time of separation, and he was practically non active towards raising the son. [The financial problem of one of the parents is fairly common in separations; the courts would take that into a serious account which is why I found it interesting that she initially had custody.]

  (Six slices left, the Eagles were playing hotel California in the background.) When her son decided on his own elective at the age of 12 to go live with the father, is when the real problems that would be prevalent throughout the years of spousal separation would become an active part of her life. Donna explained that ‘she really had nothing against this, she figured that he may as well go and live there and get it over with now, instead of doing it later on in life’. [Concerns of the father’s lifestyle sponsored this]. In effect she felt that he would find out on his own.’ Her son began to exhibit violent reactivity to her and was beginning to be verbally abusive’. Each visit she claims was going downhill. She surmised that he was seeing the way the father was talking about her at the father’s residence and was transferring this to her. Of note is the fact that her son suffers from ADHD and a mild developmental delay.

  Even know this diagnosis of her son is recent, it displays two factors about the situation that her son was in. The father as a substance abuser was in no way capable of effectively tending to their son’s special needs nor was he even compelled to try and find what out the problem with his son was. Adhd is a very obvious and extrovert disorder by way of behaviors displayed and would be kind of hard not to notice something is wrong. Donna even know she was living in separation and was at whim of whenever the father decided that the son should visit, still cared so much for the son , and what she witnessed in his behavior on the visitations, that she had the behavior looked at. She was taking him to a psychologist as far back as 3 or 4 years ago. when he was prescribed Ritalin  she was not convinced that the diagnosis and the drug prescribed was helping the child, she went further and got more information and resulted in the diagnosis he has now.[Of note he was taking Benedryl, at the time of this writing. Which when I was younger I was prescribed for hyperactivity, when I told her this, she said ‘oh they gave him that for beestings.’]

  (Wild thing faded out as I sipped a gulp of pop to chase the last of a crust and gestured to her to take the last slice.)’ her son was very sad when he realized to some degree how he was treating her. Donna wasn’t convinced that it was his true feelings and asked him to explain to her in his own writing. He produced a handwritten document disclosing an aggressive attempt by the father, where he was dictated by the father to countermand anything that would prove against or antagonist to the Donna’s attempt to raise her son in a social and moral manner. She related to me a quote where he informed that the father had deliberately told him not to go to school if she told him too and many things like that which in her summary was to ‘destroy her life’. Donna admitted to me that she had reached near suicidal thoughts as a result of the father’s commitment to vandalize her effect on her son as parental figure. Things are different now, her son is showing good improvement and she is highly confident that she is getting full custody. We sat and talked for awhile about nostalgia on the radio and I smiled to her and thanked her for letting me write her story. Pizza in belly and questions rebound in my head. I went home and tried to digest both as I listened to Vivaldi’s seasons.

 

CLEANING MY PLACE AND FINDING CHANGE

 

(I woke up this morning after a few days and realized my place was a disaster. It was a strangely logical form of chaos. Where the piles of papers and the forgotten artifacts of fancy were stationary but in some way sensible)

  As I have said, I have heard the stories before from different voices and different actors in this unnerving drama of life. Almost always I was left with this feeling of why wasn’t anything done about it. I remember an exe lover of mine telling me virtual horror stories which unfortunately are referenced by my memory. I also have a male friend that I wish I could contact for a balance but he is hard to contact and I am not sure he would participate as memories are hard for some to revisit. in an attempt to achieve an objective view and to possibly draw a rational thread through the stuff that has been related to me. I began a search for a legal viewpoint. Since law is representative of our society. It surely has a vantage of objectivity. [This is where it gets interesting.]

  (From the kitchen and the main room to the bedroom, I was seeking a systematic judgment on how to effectively begin cleaning.) The first thing that must be pointed out is there is an awareness that truly exists about this type of situation although it deals mostly with the initial custody disputes and the time within that event. There once was a man named Socrates who used the same methods of debate to find truth, in ancient Greece. When the sophists appeared, he was accused of being one of them. It resulted in his trial and ultimately his death. Sophists seek only to win the argument. Here is where the similarity of the task of the typical lawyer comes into play. They are required to effectively advocate for their client to the best of their ability in respect to the individual parents need. However, such zealous single motive seems to over look a serious condition or it turns out the prospective long term affect of what can potentially be wrong is overlooked. Although I wouldn’t be suspect of intentional wrongdoing, [even Socrates said no human intentionally does wrong.] I began to see this strange form of tennis match in my imagination. The two players are the parents, the net is the child and the referees were the court. The only time that it was a smoothly operating game was when both opponents play the game through. The net hardly ever gets hit. Only it looks like the net is constantly being hit by one player. Every time the volley from the opposition was sent, the one player would smack it straight into the net. The natural course of the game would be constantly stopped and constantly restarted. The refs would call foul or ‘in’ not understanding the desire of the one opponent trying to explain that the contestant was intentionally messing the flow of the game. The net was constantly being barraged and constantly soaking the intent of the non compliant player. What else can be said? The net soaks the violence and the meanness of the effort of the non compliant player. The ref can only pay attention to the players it seems and the focus is only on the damage of the net, when it strikes absolutely on the net.

  In order for what I am about to refer too, to be admissible in court, the theory of psychology that would definitely encompass this must be recognized as a syndrome. I read a scathing dissention of a female activist in regards to the hopefully soon to be named disorder, which is really not accountable. see, I have a very close relative that suffers from a potentially life debilitating disorder and this relative has told me how even to this day its not recognized wholly. The beloved relative’s disorder is now known as multiple personality syndrome One year it was called a disorder the next it was a syndrome, the medical community as well of the psychological community accepts it then discards it. Yet, when I last checked I think it was declared a disorder. The one that pertains to this type of topic is called parental alienation syndrome.

 

DEFINITION AND CONCLUSION

 

  The reader should know that I am by no way an authority on this subject; I am as you are someone that has and had questions. So, what I relate here is not intended to say that donna has or is suffering any of the stuff which I am about to disclose. Only, it can maybe explain the one pertinent question which I have wondered for years on end. Why wasn’t anything done about it? Well, it turns out that there was a man named R A Gardener that recognized some serious behavior traits identifiable with children of a select problematic separation. He noted the seemingly untoward assailment of the child towards a particular parent and realized there was a form of brainwashing happening. He was a highly skilled child psychologist and was certainly of credential to recognize this sad situation. He devised a theory regarding the effect of a parent that was enabling and enforcing the child to become an extension of his/her hate towards the other parent. "This emotional and psychological form of child abuse, whereby the child participates in the denigration campaign by lashing out at the targeted parent, developed a name for itself about 25 years ago and that acronym is PAS, standing for Parental Alienation Syndrome."

  That quote was supplied by Dean Tong, whom I contacted during the writing in an attempt to find out why this type of thing can go on. His quote is right on the money too. I recognized it as a form of child abuse way before I was writing it. See, the premise of it being a form of child abuse is fairly simple to understand. First, you see, the child has every right to think of the other parent in equal and same terms as the other one. In fact it is a true right. I have thankfully read some court cases where at least one judge declared it an abuse. The child has the right, unequivocally to consider each parent as a verifiable and studious figure. When, there is one parent that is constantly denigrating (read that as constantly destroying the reputation) of the other parent. The child’s rights are being violated .this is a serious concept. I speculate that even worse can come from this type of involvement, such as, the teaching of the ability to exhibit hate freely to the world or target. Not a good practice.

 Mr. Tong also supplied me with this insight, which may explain it a little better. “The case law that governs the admissibility of science and expert testimony in America is Frye or Daubert, the former requires the theory (PAS in this discussion) to be reliable, valid and "generally accepted by the entire scientific community." Obviously, because of its controversiality PAS has not met the legal standard in many states and as such is oft rejected by judges. In Canada, the legal standard is Mohan or Mohan Hearing. Although PA(S) is a legitimate form of emotional and psychological child abuse I have never witnessed one case where Child Protective Services (CAS in Canada) has removed a child from the alienator for same. Clearly, because most mothers are targeted as alienators and fathers recipients of said alienation, gender-laden "experts" offer confirmatory biased views against PA(S). It's ironic, too, because these same "experts" who talk down of PA(S) talk highly of Battered Women's Syndrome and try and ignore Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy (MSBP), or Factitious Disorder by Proxy (FDP) - Ostensibly, because like in cases of PA(S), many more mothers than fathers are guilty of committing FDP.”

  His comment is not biased in the least. It deals with the fact that there is a bias that existed somewhat at one time, as a result of feminist movements in the 60’s and 70’s. Ironically before that time, males would be given custody, a tradition that apparently went as far back as early Greece. The feminists striving for equal rights (justifiably so) managed to dissolute that, so the rule of thumb was unwritten, but mother’s would most likely get custody. When this happened, the originator of the parental alienation syndrome had only a majority of females and little males to study as far as the prospectus of the disorder was concerned. See, it was just signs of the times. There were at his time more females with custody. That is the only significance for the female/male concept. However, this incredible gender war has been going on since the conception of the parent alienation syndrome.

  We see adults fighting back and forth and a seemingly valid premise, stripped of gender but applicable in roles of custodian vs. non custodian parent seems lost. The courts both deny the possibility, while they wait to see if the dsv-II (a form that APA uses to designate disorders) is released in 2010 actually accounts for the parental alienation syndrome. Thing is, I am wondering why, even if it is not recognized ad pro, why, if the chance or remotely possibility exists, doesn’t the courts take it into account?

  Why indeed. There is much to write and I can’t really effectively demonstrate the entire scope of this form of child abuse. So, I trust awareness is supplied to some, of you, so that you will go look it up. It was suggested by a friend that both parents don’t necessarily know how to be a good parents, she suggested that it should be mandatory that the two parents take classes after the separation. It should be part of the legal precedent in an effort to protect the child; it is definitely a good idea.

 

 

 

 

 

physics is a hobby of mine. Well, actually more so then one would think, considering i am almost 45 and still skateboard like any dutiful Californian male should. The fact that i no longer live in California and more so the fact that i understand the idea of being a hen in the foxes den all to well when it comes to sharks and the ocean. skateboarding is the way to go. so lets just say that through trial and error i have a intricate understanding of gravity and inertia. Actually all tricks on skateboards are really perfected accidents, unless your Rodney Mullen, in which case i still contend that we have made contact with aliens and they left Rodney behind to mock us troglodytes that are still affected by gravity. ok so where am i going with this you wonder?

 well, i find that a lot of sci-fi seriously misinforms the public about a heck of a lot of things. which remains somewhat confusing in a way. when you consider that as children we had no problem understanding that you can not hover in place after walking off a cliff when chasing roadrunners. as children we fully accepted that it was a cartoon and wanted to see the creator of the cartoon defy that which can not be undone and well, yes, draw a tunnel and run through it but not allow the carnivorous anthropoid dog like thing to follow into the alternate dimension.  we knew to leave that world in place and visit it when the one we were in would result in a scrape from doing a reggie mantle slide to first accidentally due to a stone getting in the way of the skate or object of transport. it was actually welcomed and secret and we embraced the escape. honestly, just think of it. if any of the cartoon physics existed would it have meant so much? probably not.

 but then, we grow up. first thing many of us try to do is team sports. our first primer into the real world physics begins. ideas like energy and momentum, coordination and precision execution come into focus. but the social groups that are created by team sport and school activities tend to distract us. girl meets boy or vice versa type of stuff, unrealistic dependency on incredible ability and we get all messed up in our thoughts. indecently, i would like to inform you all that we humans do actually have an incredible physical ability. you know how bats have the speed of sound genetically placed in their minds? we have gravity. we have the speed of gravity and more so the way objects move through space ingrained into our minds. it is all unconscious and that is where a lot of us have problems. but, i swear, the sense of gravity is so strong in us, that for instance if you got some objects, and placed a bowl a distance from you , close your eyes, throw an object look where it is, then repeated the process. you will see that you will more often then not actually get more objects into the bowl. the whole method is because we instinctively know how things move in space under gravity. it comes from when we would madly dash through the trees like those monkeys we see in the nature shows. that is our origion and we are quite still there internally. some people, if they tried this and didn't achieve the ratio they themselves prove this correct will be tempted to debate this. i stick to my statement. the act of walking is actually the perfected state of falling.our balance is as deft as a bats ears to sound when it comes to gravity. people who have a disability of some sort that in some way inhibits their walking per normal, clearly demonstrate this amazing fact, the instinctual sense of gravity and our instinctual way of knowing how to move through space so well, that even with handicap, they can preform the same functions that non handicapped people can. i love this kind of stuff, it is the stuff right in front of us, that says so much about what we are.

anyways, as a kid, we are learning how coordinate the hidden knowledge and use it. along comes adulthood. then suddenly, we seem to want to make the real world fantasy and visit it sometimes only when our fantasy one causes a bing or scrape (physical or mental). because of this, there is a lot of untrue sci-fi stuff out there , that i have constantly been in argument with people about. the major culprit is star trek. yep. star trek is probably one of the most misleading sources anyone can hope to have. some of it is just blatantly obvious too. at least to me. i remember a time i said that i don't blame that doctor character in the original series for being against that teleporter thing. the response was, he is just neurotic. i said no, he is saving his life. everyone else is killing themselves. he is probably the only real living human in that fantasy universe. the person i was talking to said , well they have apparently been experimenting with transport things and i added back that  i bet they are all inanimate objects.  the talker then explained yea well, they need to experiment. i said you realize that every time a living thing goes through this transporter thing, they are killed. (no they are still alive was the response). i said ok lets use the universe of star trek for the base. remember that episode on next gen when scotty was trapped in the transporter whatever thing. like a running tape loop with in the transporter. that was like what, more then 50 or so years into the future right? (yea, came the response, eyes looking at me suspicious) well, what do you think scotty was doing during that time? you don't think he was living do you? how did he eat? how come he didn't grow or change or age at all? (he was in the teleporter loop thing) , right i said and because of that he wasn't alive. he was dead. they basically just took a bunch of dead matter and reorganized it into a scotty clone.(he had his memories! how could matter get the memories?). biochemistry, fun science.  there are many examples of biochemical memories in medical science today.
 it seems that people are just unwilling to accept that every person on the show series and spin offs is an impostor clone thing that has been manufactured in exact copy of the original. which brings fanaticism to mind but never mind. now i ask you, if there is a time , in the future where to go to point b from point a, you have to literally disintegrate yourself and then somehow have a computer digitize your form back into existence every time you want to land or leave a place would you really believe that the whole process captures the spirit . which remains a precept beyond the scope of this post, and magically places that into the mix when it supposed recreates the physical form. i would pass on that thank you very much.hence i agree wholeheartedly with mc coy.

 another one i see on that show, is the wormholes. people drop this name like it is a scientific fact. unfortunately it is not true. there is no wormholes as depicted like star trek in existence. they cant possibly exist because the very nature of them prevent it. think of two cones , place one on the ground  with the base , like a pyramid, then place another upside down balanced by the tip. that is a true black hole or the true idea when it comes to a wormhole. we don't even know if the opposite cone exists. the points go to infinity when reaching zero. they never touch. so, there is no way anything can travel ala cisco did through that one in deep space nine. truth is, if you even tried you would never reach the end.aside from the fact that your mass would stretch to the speed of light (186000 miles per sec) and then possibly more. you would just never really reach the end. therefore never even transgress to the supposed mirror cone on the other side. i am not exactly sure what the makers of the star trek wormholes were borrowing from, but the closest i can think of is cosmic strings.which are not a massive whirlpool of death, but null dimensional. even then they are not known to exist per se, more of a possibility created to explain special effects of time/space. which is basically that time is not a straight line , but alters and wavers in strange and twisty motions. a perfect example of this idea is the fact we see stars, that existed billions of years ago right now. to the effect of the past, also effecting the now as it happened in the past as if it was happening right now. as you can see, they needed someway to describe this type of stuff and the strings worked nicely, to explain at least some of the mystery.

 Although as is tradition in this topic, i could focus mainly on star trek. i find it hard not too. the general theme must go on. so terminator (the whole series) is another example of sci-fi seriously getting it wrong. in that case it is the time travel aspect i choose to focus on , the robotic one is simply engineering. the time or premise of the story even is not possible. in fact it is impossible to achieve what the storyline suggests. every sci-fi that shows a time traveler going back to change an event , in order to rewrite the future is not possible at all. people don't believe me when i say this. they literally think this is possible. it isn't. what would happen is, the person would go back change all they want. it would stick too, however the very nanosecond after the time they went back happens. presto chango, the thing they wanted to change is back. so, for instance, if we went back and killed hitler, which i figure is what everyone would want to do.believing that this would change the future, it wouldn't. sure all the way up to the time the person went back, there would be no hitler, the technology would not be there, things would be completely different.the second after the person went back though, then the entire history would be right back in place. it is just the way dimensions work.  yet people think it is possible thanks to sci-fi.
 but mark i hear , they are making star trek stuff now. never confuse technology with science. our science is slow. not much has happened drastically since we discovered the genes. before that i wager maybe newton with gravity, Darwin as well..science hasn't really made any big jumps. we are nearing one though from what i gather with the higgs boson. there is stuff in real physics that just totally defies anything that scifi can think of. they have been trying to figure out a problem with gravity, how among the universal forces present in our universe, gravity is by far the weakest and at the same time universally powerful. weak because i can jump easily, powerful because everything can be affected by it and at incredibly far distances. the running idea now is, gravity is actually in an alternate dimension and it is spilling over into this one. we are getting only a third of whatever its effect is here, just a small fraction. now i don't know, but i cant imagine any scifi that has come close to that idea. the best idea when it comes to scifi, in trying to understand what is real and not. just work with what you know instinctively. real science never changes. gravity for instance still works the same as it did when newton defined it. which is a good thing. there is so much of this misleading stuff out there, that if it seems incredible, it probably is. a bit of research other then wiki if you can help it , will show you at least what is real to a degree.

and when faced with incredibly non gravitational affected freelance skateboarders name rodney mullen, just write it down as a phenomenon . which means , defies explanation. boy does he ever.

 There is a form of unnerved disassocation i experience when i read the deeds that these human beings have done to save thier fellow countrymen. It is scary and just deeply depressing. words cant describe it. here is the link to the website for those who wish to investigate such amazing people and thier fearless actions.http://www.history.army.mil/moh.html. i cant read much of them without having to give up. it affects me that much. however, there is a reason why i am talking about this. the self sacrifice and desire of the human race to preform this, whilst remaining ignorant to safety or instinctual self preservation is a legacy that remains beyond question as far as what being human is concerned. wether it be in the insanity of war , where such actions are the brightest of white against the darkest of black , to the two females that died trying to save a man who had recently crashed into a telephone pole and not seeing the firehydrant had also been broken and was spouting water. a female who witnessed the crash from her frontroom window ran out and upon trying to rescue the unconcious driver was instantly electrocuted by the fallen telephone lines. a couple that was driving by having only arrived in time to see the lady fall, stopped and a female from that car rushed out and herself was electricuted trying to save the woman. these two women, should have gotten recognition for their sacrifice and the bravery they preformed. i had actually sent the white house an email demanding it , when it happened. all i got was a form letter, i am disappointed the these two people did not get recognized in state fashion. such acts are incredible and deserve to be acknowledged in a world that is predominated by fantasy media.
 however, as i said, this is human. an action that can be traced back in fossil records to be exact. there was a digsite where some A. africanus was found, type of 'lucy' species. it was a teenage girl who had been attacked by some predator, as was depicted by the crushed femur. she didnt make it, and as a result her remains were found 4 million years later by us. flash ahead now to roughly 2 million years into the future from that poor girl's demise and we find a homo erectus, young male, his remains are pretty good and in good condition. we discover his humorous and it is crushed by possible a dog like animal, the molars had crushed the bone in. a few yards away we actually discover the remains of the dog. all busted up, the skull bashed in and the bones serious fractured. why is this a big deal?

 well the original africanus one was attacked and her peers ran away. this one, the erectus, was attacked and his peers threw stones and rocks and tried to save him. another example of how this behavior evolved is in a cave of china  where, we find multiple ages and genders in the cave. the race is homogenous, it means they never intermixed like the rest of erectus with other members. this is fascinating on its own, it means that an entire pre-civilization of homogenous erectus thrived, grew and vaished. the world never knew. anyways the remains in the cave all had various physical indications of sickness or injury. there was food and other evidence of these people being cared for. it was as if this cave had become a hospital, the erectus were caring for their injured and sick. This need can be shown to even exist in lower primates.
 it is actions like this, that seperate us from the animal kingdom drastically. it is just too sad that such a strong and amazing trait is usually displayed in horrible and in modern times, completely senseless events. to lose such beautiful spirits , to such a pointless endeavor as is depicted by modern attitudes towards anything military, so distorted now, so misleading. i personally thank every single one of them and the ones that survived.  they prove that humans are an incredible species. that we may not have the super abilities of animals, but we will not ever give up. it is in our nature. when believing in the good, we preform the most incredible actions. it gives faith, that we will somehow survive a lot of the damage we are doing to the world. it can happen, is the message these people send us. it is incredible what we are potentially capable of, if our hearts and minds are pure. so never give up hope.

 Somethings in psychology , as a science which is what anthropology deals with and not to be confused with clinical psychology which is really a form of applied anthropology, deals with are quite under the surface. There are many questions that remain precariously intuitive when considered towards understanding the human race as a species on earth. things like how do we think of the environment or perceive the world versus how do we actually interact with it remain almost like a rhetorical volleyball match between structuralists and individualists debates. for the record, i am more into behaviorism as a guideline, i guess i appreciate the idea of how it blends into the animal and by my opinion , nature of life as a whole. lets just say that behaviorism is probably the greatest (as proven by media manipulation) mover in all animal interaction. the fact that behaviorism and the exploitation of it's application remains the ongoing battle between an unsuspecting audience and the media that comes armed with it's science.from skinner and his cats and Watson and his revenge, which lives on as legacy we can only deduce that the validity of psychology being a true science that is severely underrated by the distracted hypnotized public , is both real and purely effective.
 There is however, the real aspect of psychology that keeps me interested [ not as a conciouis rebel or as concious as i can be of the ploys that i encounter daily, but at least the recognition of the manipulation of instinct as a inescapable urge and the fact that since i know this, i have at least some form of defense against the majority of the onslaught.] things like body language , as it were and the natural meaning versus the social implementation of what the intellectually agreed and enforced meaning from peer groups of the display would mean.

 smiles are probably one of the most intriguing one of all. in nature to smile is to pretty much bare your teeth. a display that is not happily recognized even by our nearest existing counterparts, pan paniscus or the chimpanzee. even they don't see the 'smile' as a happy well feeling intent. we do, we all do, even as a very young child when witnessed on an adult , we see it as a happy feeling. this means, that the smile is not a learned aspect. we are not taught what a smile is, the meaning is built in us and we automatically identify it as a good feeling. this remains quite ironic and vastly contrastive to pretty much the entire animal kingdom. this, is where psychology gets real fun. trying to understand why this is and why only humans have this unique perception. the confusion is pretty obvious, when you consider that the only other true tribal entities on earth being wolves and lions, both pretty complete as a tribal type of social group as far as their behaviors are concerned do not mean happy times when they show their teeth. so what is going on here? plus, why do we understand that when humans do this it means the complete opposite to the dogs ,wolves and any other animal that is pretty much doing as close to the same action that we are .

one of the things i have been trying to explain to people for a long time is that humans as far as our ancestry, all the way back to possibly homo habilis, were not predominantly violent animals. when we coexisted with our predecessors and contemporary branches , i don't really believe that we as a whole, inclusive were given to violent confrontation. the major clue comes from the migration of the larynx down our throats. the fact that we want, as humans to talk. to communicate was that important that we actually evolved to better suit this need. it is a human trait, therefore you can pretty much expect this of Neanderthal and erectus and everything backwards to habilis. it is one of the things that separated us from the bipedal apes. the need to communicate reinforced our ability to create and strengthen culture.which is also another very strong trait in the human species. all homo species were therefore in some way instinctively prone to this. Neanderthal burying their dead, the fact that erectus made the exact same stone axe, therefore demonstrating a tradition that must have been taught are among the indicators of a strong culture and need to communicate which was effectively facilitated. it pretty much spells the fact that we sapiens were not the only one.

yet, the theory  we see in the mainframe about what the smile means is questionable. according to modern perception, the smile is a way of showing dominance.the most common form of comedy that is found to be humorous in the world is slapstick humor. which is basically the action of the performer appearing to be incompetent or in some way lesser and bumbling thereby making the viewer feel superior and more dominant then the character. we unconsciously show our teeth as a way of showing dominance.that is the basic gist of what we are told anyways in the mainstream. which may be true, but i myself have a hard time accepting this. for some reason, i don't see the connection.

 The idea of someone smiling and the recipient, being shown to be inferior according to that theory also returning the smile and both participants feeling good about it doesn't make sense. remember, we instinctively feel good. the statement, i feel good see my teeth? and the response i also feel good here are my teeth and then the two individuals sharing the good sensation encouraged by showing each other their teeth doesn't really seem to make sense. so what is it? well, to be honest, we really don't know. just theories, just ideas that individually are supportive towards a rational answer but as you can see combined don't make any sense. really , in my opinion i think it is a totally different thing.
 one thing that needs to be understood is that even know we homo all have the instinct to communicate built in. our voices were entirely different when compared to different species. in some cases there is no way we would be able to effectively transmit our intention of thought. for instance, the Neanderthal had a slightly different type of shape for the vocal passage. the result is somewhat strange, here we have the most brawniest of human species. that would use its body to hunt , for instance, by ramming themselves full force into the prey animal. as is depicted by the fossil limbs showing healed fractures and broken bones. it had a high pitch voice. big , tough males, with voices that were like a high chirp. it would be next to impossible it seems for us to understand them. but we most certainly did interact with them and erectus. the only other method of communication was by physical display.
 we and them had self recognition in each other. in fact we must have seen, that they were humans, only different of course, but nonetheless understood them to be humans. we obviously , like them , had a desire to communicate. so it seems that when  mutual feeling of good intention was meant to be imparted. we probably smiled. seeing as how we are not naturually violent and that culture and interaction was a instinctual providence in us. the smile somehow was recognized by all of us as a good and happy display of acceptance and means of belonging. in otherwords, a smile shared between two homo species, meant they agreed and were non agressive. because it meant they belonged in a group. the frown or sneer of course, both highly identifable and radically different as far as facial expression, have pretty much instinctual meaning.both do not nescessarily require showing of the teeth. the complete opposite of the animal world.it is in this aspect the science of psychology is both intriguing and fascinating. if you smile, you can make other people smile, they want to belong to that group. it remains probably one of the most effective ways to socially bond that doesn't require vocal or grooming. it remains both highly recognized and highly powerful in it's use.

 recently i was graced with the unmerited gift of being able to spend the day with a person who will always be special to me as an individual. we both were easily caught into the sense that the 20 or more years of absence from each others lives was a fleeting fancy and were as we always were. two intelligent people discussing the foibles of modern existence.
our conversation went all over like it would when we were two teenage lovers, pretty much leaving nothing uncovered and a lot unsaid. let it be known i cant thank destiny or her enough for that day.things like this place me on earth, remind me that in my juggled angst, i too am just a monkey on earth.
one of our subjects went to how we both were aspiring animal activists in our youth. i told her that science, is the one true animal activist thing there is on earth. science , i said seeks a true intimacy with the universe and basically only a paleontologist or animal behaviorist can tell or for that matter truly understand the intricate nature of the world we live in.
yet, i said there is this problem when it comes to our mind as a society or collective whole. we just don't understand the universe doesn't run according to our vision. admittedly i know that what i say is deceptively vague and i also know that to some degree myself and everyone else is an unwilling participant in this demise. It seems that there is really nothing we can do, in a way , we have made ourselves the guinea pig for our imaginative designs.the kind of action required is easily quashed by hyper obedient representatives of the major players toward this deranged dante-sian fantasy and just like Dante's fantasy, the comedy is quickly fleeting and unrecognizable.
one of the most peculiar things about our species, which my studies had certainly made prominent is this incredible desire and need for the human race not to be alone. we desire company so strongly and so much, that the greatest source of death and major killer of our species revolves around the supposed communication with 'other' species , be it supernatural or fantastical or any variation that may self serve in between.we envy the animals for just accepting their fate, as it seems. just going with nature on nature's terms. we desire that so much that we enslave animals, with burgeoning attributes that at a later date, in the order of millions of years , would probably proximate the magnificence of our species.
please make no mistake, on earth there has never been more profound a species as our own. this isn't an ego serving statement, it is a truth.but it comes at such a horrible price. we are aware of this, we are terrified by our ability constantly and so we seek companions in the stars , hoping their version will give us direction.like kant would say, we have nothing to base ourselves on and we seem to be failing badly. all one needs to do is look at the fact that even in primordial times the major component for many extincts during the existence of our species , was ourselves. the giant sloth,horses on north America, which is believed to be their place of origin.the branch of argentavius magnifecens, an eagle with a immense wingspan, its branch off species, surviving into the 14 century dependent on a single source of food, a large flightless bird, which we found good to eat, eradicating the flightless birds, destroyed this eagle. it no longer exists , save in the occasional musing of a crypt-zoological articles.
but we are desperate, because many don't even understand realistically what extinction means.the conditioning of our industrialization has told us that we are a machine, i see it all the time. people really think their brain is a computer,that the body is a machine that runs on fuels and that we are electric.
we are nothing like a machine, we don't run on electric the human mind is not a computer.
we are the miracle that is shared with all other life, of these incredibly resourceful animals. single cell colonies that have gone so incredibly far and so incredibly complex in their design and function.when a person refers to themselves as an individual, it is really a plural. each and every single one of the cells that make my body and existence can be traced both back into prehistory and to modern existing variations that live as all animals . freely and in the wild.
the machine concept, really is just the action of making your own handy stick instead of looking for one constantly to manifest a lever. but levers are not an advanced concept at all to single celled organisms.many lichens or bacteria and even microbes will use this effect to fracture rocks, causing the degradation of the rock surface.simply by the physical law that matter can not occupy the same place as matter.which, in objectivity, is an application of a lever.rather advanced one too.
the electric concept is not anything like they say it is, it is a relay system, where cells, which communicate through chemicals, makes sense since they originated in aqueous solution, constantly trigger a fight or flight condition. the musculature reacts to the acid, attempting to evade, the nerves secrete the acid to cause the effect.the whole exchange is electrical because of the two chemicals that are exchanged.only because of the fact that acids are either missing or have an extra electron or neutron, which causes the surrounding matter to try and equalize it out.either by the chemical species grabbing the free ones from surrounding matter or vice versa.the energy is relevant to electricity, along emf and other nuclear ideas.
point is, it isn't a wire and a battery, but an incredibly complex relay system that through ages of these cells symbiotic states have evolved into a incredibly detailed and informative system. all really to either enable the colony to evade or near or inform the members of the colony that are inside and devoid of outer contact what is going on. the brain is one branch of this colony, that never sees the outside and relies heavily on the transmission of information through this relay system.
the brain, is not a computer, it is a subsidiary of the greater colony within us that individually seeks to keep the colony running smoothly and can individually or as a whole communicate to the other species that are present in our whole. it is a translator, you may say, that sends information that the nerves of the hand , report and informs the muscles to not squeeze too tightly, as the sense of touch, as reported by the nerves say that the object may not be firm enough to withstand pressure.the nerves of the hand operate of their own accord in response to the information.the communication between the mind and the hand are such that as the hand which can not see, is being informed that the eyes , which can see light, a variation of plant single celled animals that has evolved magnificently to exploit this ability are informing the brain in its language the proper effect the mind recognizes through retrial...i can go on as you see.. this is not a human only thing. all animals both single cell and colony have similar or sometimes even more advanced ability.depending on that colony or cell's particular foraging strategy and source of energy.
people say that it doesn't mean anything in the modern world to know this stuff , it doesn't put food on the table or help us solve our self created mayhem. i am always forced to agree, because, we don't live in the real world. most addicts give me that serious look about how life has done them so wrong and they have x-amount of kids and their lives went horribly wrong, i know..i am a recovered one. but funny thing is, if i lived in the real world, the one that apparently doesn't matter, then i would have probably puked my brains out the first time i got drunk and never go back. animals, apparently don't understand the importance of such things. the main reason i was into drugs and booze, being my insecurities as a teen and inability to feel part of society would be more or less not even really relevant in nature, which would pretty much have a system of entitlement or something of the sort setup. as an anthropology student, i can certainly state an opposite to anything the human race considers important and cleanly show it is irrelevant. but this is the game for sociology ,whose concern is to be right,when the rest is wrong and i cant be bothered with monkey games.
science, is our only true diplomat to the world of animals and ourselves, but industry and naive people ,programmed by human wants and emotions and human enforced habitation constantly infect the natural world with their own anxieties. all it takes is a little anthropomorphic 'cute eye' syndrome from puppy of choice to understand what i mean there.
i cut myself off, i can go on and on about biology about the incredibly fascinating stuff out there and what the real world is really like. i can delineate exactly why we have to stop things on various animals and why we have to actively intervene on others, with pure knowledge and pure understanding. i kid you all not. this love of animals, life, biology and existence came to me in grade 5, when i had to dissect an earth worm. an animal i would plant on a hook and toss unabashedly into the drink to snag it's predator. there i was, looking at the multiple heart chambers, fathoming how it breathes just like us, only its lung is through the skin, that it has to keep it moist like we our lungs and that the reason they come out of the holes is because they will drown, the miracle of this incredible animal which has lived longer and mastered both land and sea, long before my land form came into being , requiring the skeleton to anchor my musculature on to orchestrate through visual and nerve relay the ability of conscious motion.here is this thing that is so ancient that there are no fossils that explain how it came to being, it simply is too old , with no hard parts. i remember i swooned..it all hit me at that moment. i have never been the same since.

this started out as a post about how messed up everything is. but, i changed my mind. instead, i have decided to try once again to get some ideas across to people about what we are really in,what this is really about and maybe, just maybe give hope for anyone's predicament. all i can say is, thanks for letting me try.it is all i want.
one of the strangest things i learned in paleoanthropology was that this sense or aura of being not a 'part of', is a large part of our evolutionary path. you can see it even in hominids ,which are the more ape and more towards the beginning of when we get bipedal. lucy or Australopithecus afrensis, was a 4 to 5 foot tall species of erect ape , that was just beginning to exhibit habits like humans.
this was roughly anywhere from 4-5 million years ago. as far as we can tell. as far as not being part of, her kind fit the bill nicely. they originally came from africa, ended radiating out even to india and ethopia.this was a 4 foot tall humanoid , who has a human cladistic ( trait) in her skull, when her kind evolved into gracilis.the skull had became rounded like ours.so, we finally found at least one bipedal hominid (non-human) that had a human fossilized trait. we now have a fossil record possibility that extended back at least 5 million years, which instead of just showing our connection to primates (teeth and other physiological makeup that can be seen in lemurs and monkeys and apes and other primates) but rather, one that is uniquely human.
this is important.because before her kind showed up, there is nothing found. a complete void all the way to a species of quadruped that had left the trees to try and find sustenance in seeds and nuts.roughly 12 million years ago.we still have nothing to demonstrate in between or the missing link you may say from the quadruped to lucy..
so, even before we were human ,it seems we are out of place.
lucy's fingers are curved,which means she had a proficiency for braichiating or tree climbing. this means that even know she was bipedal,the bipedalism is fairly recent. more of her skeleton demonstrates this,she wasn't really good at running.her hips or pelvic girdle although similar to ours was more like an apes.so , it would be safe to say that she was not really suited for the open grasslands or a svelte where she lived. it is most likely true that her kind had body hair like apes today.which if ,she came from a wooded area in Africa would most likely be dark.this meant that the 12 foot wingspan eagles that went extinct in the 14th century would have no problem seeing her or her young.
not a good thing really. it is compounded by the fact that in order for her to get the required energy to survive,she needed meat.which her kind scavenged.so this meant competition with hyenas. in modern times there are 3 species of hyena, her time there was like possibly 20 roughly. some were huge.they used to be the answer to the dog requirement in nature. there were huge cats, huge canids, dire wolves plus the wolves successor, the dogs were making a big impact on the ecology. lucy was a small, 4-5 foot tall hominid not really good at walking bipedal,not very good at running, with a dietary need for meat to enable her to maintain the energy she needed to forage and survive. as a result, for the most part, the scavenging was done after everything else had pretty much stripped the prey bare.
lucy had the same kind of teeth we do.she couldn't break through bone easy enough or effectively chew with the force of a predator.so, her kind devised a method of taking rocks.which somehow they knew would break a certain way. they would chip at the rock with another one, holding it like a person would hold a bar if hanging from a ledge,the thumb was not yet capable of opposition like ours. when they found a carcass, and when a piece broke off the rock ,that was the right shape and size, they would use this flake to slice through the tendon and bone. she knew how to locate the best place on the carcass , because she knew that predators will gnaw on the ends of limbs.so her kind would focus on those areas . sometimes, they would find a skull, picked clean by the scavengers and take it back to their pod or group area and use a rock to smash it open,exposing the brain of the animal.this was rich in the energy they needed. they would all collect and bring the stuff back to this area. they had a sense of community and a sense of social behavior that was far advanced. but,make no mistake, they were not part of this environment .they were out of their element. this not belonging and the need to survive was so strong, it is what began the whole process of our evolution.
for something that didn't belong in the environment, they somehow survived against incredible odds, giving rise to two species, gracilis and robustus. robustus looking more like an ape, with a sagittal crest (the part of ape skulls that look like a ancient roman or greek helmet). the main difference was that this somehow aided in the stronger jaw muscles to possibly aid in the chewing and breaking of hard stuff. but, it seems that gracilus,the one not very adapted to this area or way of living is the one that would survive and carry on in our evolution.
there is a bit of a black out here now, because from her type to homo habilis is just a bunch of variations of robustus or gracilus,but seemingly out of the blue habilis appears. roughly 3 to 4 mya . this has been considered an over-sized Australopithecus, but others contend it is surely human.at any rate, i go for the human concept.because this animal , which again was out of its place, didn't really belong, had manifested a better form of communication. it's larynx had migrated further down its throat,in order to vocalize more effectively. it had to, in order to create stronger bonds between its fellows, as there was too many to bond through grooming.instead, habilis bonded through vocalization.language and the need to communicate was born and instantly put to the best use.these out of place, not really belonging in the environment first humans had begun the intensely fast evolution of culture.
habilis was extremely successful too, giving rise to a few speculative off shoots like blackii. but ultimately the successor that changed the world , arrived.it was homo erectus.
these humans by all rights should be the dominant form of human in existence.they excelled at being out of their element and were actively trying to not be part of. always on the move, erectus was probably the fastest running human alive. the fact they used one tool no matter what for most of their work,the hand axe, ( a sort of tear shaped rock ,that was fashioned the same way no matter how far apart or environment they were in.shows how innovative they were.they could go to any environment and become a apex hunter , it was in their blood.
when we came along, as a contemporary of them, we didn't belong where they were. we couldn't out do them, they were physically our master, and like us they were beginning to show care for their own.it was by pure twist of fate that we managed to outlive them. a volcano eruption had made their main places of existence devoid of any real food source. erectus had an incredible need for food which was not easily met in requirement after the eruption.
i can go on but i want to show that,when it comes to our feeling of not belonging to earth,it is a common human sensation.we manifested this ideal before we were even human.it has always been there.so for those of you that feel this way, be at ease,you are being human.more so then most people.
real humans lived in the worst of situations and survived as well as thrived.they faced real fear daily,but were able to function so well that when sapiens came around many abilities to make stuff was already spread and well known.we fashioned clothes and jewelry.to further separate us from nature.then we got fire.this is when erectus and possibly Neanderthal didn't know how to use fire in all of it's possible applications. we exploited fire excessively, eventually leading to the bronze and other metal ages. our separation from nature was so far advanced, we already felt that we were not part of, began to create gods and myths to explain how we, humans came to be on earth,how we are special and unique to all other life in so many profound ways.
so in summary,it is normal for a human to feel this detachment from nature.we made it that way and it proved to be a crucial element of our evolution.it is this feeling we have that is a legacy effect lent to us by our ancestors.

 Funny thing about people and the idea of travels in the world. When it comes to me versus other people , i begin to notice that my idea of places of interest on earth are completely different. Bear in mind, i really do think this way , when it deals with travel bucket lists of life. One thing i find funny is how , if a person comes from a place that is in someway romanticized in global mindset, it is not exactly for the same reason that they love their homestead. My favorite place on earth will ultimately always be the pacific ocean at Huntington beach. I was born there and California is where the world introduced itself to me. The ocean is always spiritually calling me. i dream of it constantly. however, if i was to ask anyone or, if anyone for that matter were to agree with me at least about California being a place worth visiting, you can be rest assured it isn't for the same reasons. i am pretty sure we all know some of the more prominent reasons people would choose California. me, i am not really in tune with that.
 the ocean, is the most magical place in the world for a boy to be near. even now i can feel the same excitement or fascination i had walking along the surf. with desirous anticipation of what i may come upon where the waves meet the land. you really never know what you will find. however, for me, it never ends only at the beach. there is the red sequoias, ancient trees and largest in the land. one can only marvel what they saw, these trees. the fact that they still live. such secrets, would be seemingly lost. were it not for the actual fauna being found in the tar pits. Smilodons , cat like and precursor to what we would know as big cats, who in their primal zest threw abandon away and attempted to capture prey such as giant bison trapped in these tar pits and like the carnal zest i seen in some cats and dogs , so lost in the primal blood lust, unwilling to give up their prey, going down with it. words, i think can never truly describe what this event, often repeated must of been like. the ironic justice of it all.
 Smilodon were a strange cat like thing. they had more squarish faces , the sabers were not as strong as we thought and the over all shape was like a squat pitbull of a cat. huge in size but still just strange to see at various angles.
 such are the hallmarks that draw me in my imagination to places on the earth. my bucket list is a strange one when it comes to wanderlust. suits me fine.
 some places i would thrill in being would most likely make no sense at all to normal people.other places would be logical, superficially, like my home state, but have a deeper meaning to me, pending investigation.one such place would be Alaska. to me, this place would be the same, literally, as the religious types returning to the holy land. i could get so lost in my fascination and sense of this place. for one, it is still pretty much as it was. as far as the geology is concerned. the igneous rocks are pretty much far reaching , the sharp mountains which become Vancouver and then California, are young and a testimony to an incredible recent volcanic event. the land is both very new and very old. i find this type of stuff exciting. the other thing is the animals, all of whom are survivors of the ice age , the very source of the form the species exist as, still present. but ultimately, it has to be the idea of the land bridge or ice bridge that existed during one of the most dramatic times of the earth for life. to be in Alaska, near the ocean , where the bridge surely existed is nothing short of discovering the actual path of humanity. how can we just not dream about what kind of adventure these humans faced when traversing the bridge, entering the continent at a time when the giant sloth still existed and horses were native? the wild and savage encounters of the American lion, a huge species of the cat, with no mane on the males. dire wolves , providing the competitive edge to us , for the same prey we chased. cave bears , huge and worthy of fear and respect , towering over us as we began our incursion into a land that was somehow spared at a time of transition for the mammalian appearance. this place, this continent. this land, where marsupial and placental mammals both have representatives coexisting. it shows a time when the earth was just alive with its new creations.
 that of course doesnt compare at all to australia, the place that marsupials ruled. which means it was at a crucial apex of the earth when it separated. but for Australia there is also the ancient human linage, as is depict by the aborigine, relatively new comers, but, oh this is exciting, erectus may very well of also been here. the very idea of homo erectus being in Australia and somehow influencing the human population s indirectly or directly through competition is exciting.of course, the vast display of wildlife in Australia is as always a huge draw. like i said, there is the superficial connections that i would surely share with everyone else. but again for me, i just barely touch this. the sharks, so incredible have a vast dominion in Australia, which proves stunning for that eternal whirlpool at arctic oceans, constantly turning and constantly in a state of massive rotation. to think, that just over there, (pointing blindly) penguins, the greater majority of the species types thrive and found passage is stunning. the bird that survived the ice age, within the polar waters. another thing that would draw me to Australia,is the erratic nature of the weather within it's interior. it is so perfect an example of what life had to experience at various times in it's pursuit of survival. yes, Australia is certainly a place i could be lost in forever.
 but as varied as that is or special and unique, Madagascar is probably the most magical place on the earth. it has living remnants of prehistoric animals still surviving in its realm. separate sometimes by a few hybridization or speciations , but nonetheless you can see and find animals that are in all ways connected to ancient animals. it is like seeing an rhinoceros. an animal directly connected to the very one we can find in fossil record. that whole are of the earth is so primal and so close to what it was like for prehistoric earth, it doesn't surprise me at all the most ancient animals are found there. celeocanths. which is more then enough reason for a person like me to place Madagascar on the map. Indonesia, also qualifies as this type of place. though i would be more fascinated by Madagascar.
 such is the way i think, i cant help it. for me, i am lucky really. i can go pretty much anywhere and find something absolutely fascinating enough that i can be enraptured for a span of time. up north, in Ontario, near the Canadian shield. there is the oldest earth crust. bared and in the sunlight. the actual earth , as it existed 3.5 billion years ago. before life, or just before life showed up on earth. to even imagine this, is just incredible. then Alberta with its fossilized mountain range, so amazing to see, so ancient and bewilderingly timeless. the strangest thing about me is, i can travel in my mind. i have more or less just taken a trip in my thoughts and imagination , along with mental snapshots of the sights with you , while writing this. nothing can dissuade me from this type of wanderlust. to a person of my science, even the idea of the continents being at one time connected. the way that must be somehow reflected in the animal world and geological record. the clues, no matter where they are, is so much of enticement, i would be comparable to any treasure seeking pirate. Africa, is always the most alluring place of all. one could not even hope to denote the possibilities for exploration there, in the science that i embrace. to be lost amongst the fossilize footprints of predecessors of elephants. follow them and sense the natural way they pursued their course. just to do that, just to be able to breathe the same air and see the same landscape and do that. my god, words can not describe. but ultimately, my best trip, is when i share things like this with my fellow humans. i can not contain the eagerness.

 Somethings in paleontology become strikingly clear when you research them. There is this uncanny resilience of life that astounds the mind for it's ingenious ability to thwart the universe at it's own game. We tend to focus on the bacteria,virus and microbes for this kind of intrigue. Since these lifeforms are primarily the source of our fear and present threat in nature. Believing of course that we have pretty much got everything else under wraps. This of course is farthest from the truth. Hindsight kind of provides a comedic relief when you consider that a species which cant even control itself and its instincts , effectively, should wager that it has dominion over all others. humanity in its greatness surely provides the best entertainment for the universe.drama, intrigue,comedy,tragedy , action,expression in an otherwise void of stars is certainly our best quality. We become the actors that don't know it is a role.
 As newcomers into the plot. we think that basically the story was crafted around us. the biggest draw of any religious dogma is this assertion that the universe is understandable by the human mind, that the events are somehow geared for the providence of the human condition. the comedy gets better when even in modern times, while this stuff still exists in radical cases ( how else to describe it when science has proven the fallacy of practically every belief previous), the new age desperate types will apply the 'it is all about us' fashion towards other life. we even think, that aliens will be all about us. ( i loved that line in that star trek movie (return home) where Spock says that only the human race would think that any greater species will want to talk to only them). it is true , we do think we are the top dog. unfortunately our advancements and incredible intelligence has made us top dogs. but we are like babies with guns, a concept that only we humans can understand. we created it.
 the major truth is, it is by pure luck that we even exist. pure luck that we are what we are.  it has nothing to do with a higher being coming along and giving us the nod of acknowledgement. it simply falls into timing and pure luck.Which is not a demeaning statement at all. though some would find this hard to accept. in truth, timing and pure luck are the major forces of all the most incredible forms of life that have existed both past and present. such powers of the universe even to this day prove reality itself is an elastic flux. the recent asteroid pass and the meteorite that smashed into Russia alone define the concept of pure luck and timing. just think, such stuff is common place and run of the mill for the earth. This type of event, is exactly what proved the turning point in earth's history to even make humans possible. never underestimate random chance and life, they are like two lustful lovers earnestly seeking each others companionship. greedily embracing each others presence. The results are always astounding and awe inspiring. personally, i love it. i really get a thrill out of it.
 anyways, as i said we are like actors, who have entered the middle or some part of the sketch long after the introduction and believing that we are the stars of the play, envision the whole plot to be reliant upon us. I would have to say that, even know this is not the case, we are like the ego inflated thespians that will force this into reality regardless of the plot. it is our past time. however, having entered into the plot only after the main characters have been introduced and sometimes segued, we remain unsure of our place in the motion of the story. as an observation, i add, we , unlike the rest of the life on earth, do have control over the playwright's direction. this is a strange balance for life, it gives the illusion of us being exclusively catered too without realizing that in the outline, we are really just a element of a story that has been majestically written in many tongues and arcane media. some of which we are only now beginning to understand. The true story is written in stone. It is here that we enter the play, late and desperately trying to figure out the storyline.

 I remember as a boy hearing and learning that the dinosaurs had dominion over the earth. The way this was portrayed is like a huge , behemoth lumbering and bestial type of lordship. With no sense of direction and basic primal kill or be killed empirical domain. Thrilling over the stop action animation of the 60-70's depiction of dinosaurs fighting for life in a jungle backdrop. there was much adventure and daydreaming to feed the mind of boy. yet, as we learn more,we  learn that it was not exactly that way, that the dinosaurs were displaying advanced social behaviors. as an adult i quip to myself, well like yea, birds pretty much spell that out. crocodiles, as i wrote about previous also demonstrate fascinating social behaviors. it becomes more and more complex and ultimately it turns out that the time or closer to the origin of life, the more detailed such social organization becomes. in biology, one can not deny the incredible advancement of cells. the one thing they had over the other prevalent forms of life at the time was the ability to colonize. it proved to be the one thing that would spell dominion over the equally powerful variation of microbes and bacteria. the high mutant rate and seemingly immortal (via natural cloning) of some forms of microbes,virus and bacterial life with their incredible mutation properties was not an easy competition. the cells, they began to combine and then specialize. they eventually proved that socialized behavior was the strongest form of survival in the universe. the vast variations and incredible nature of disease is not a display of how weak our type of life is, it is a display of how strong and how desperate the disease specimen is to try and survive. in all truth, we are tough and by no means at the mercy of these organisms. we are the legacy of cells and their greatest strategy, socialized colonization. so strong that even the most basic examples, older then i can possibly imagine still exist today, in the form of a sea cumber and ammonites which lead to the magnificence of coral reefs. the latter being really a simple colony of cellar growth creating the base of whole ecology within the ocean depths.
 The eons would be a wildly fluctuation of balance and over bounding success of species that will never be known or recognized. life and chance are anything but shy in their union. eventually though the story will lead us to insects and the trees, the eternal fight for domain, which ultimately belongs to the trees and plants. nothing would survive without them. such benevolent masters , compared to its dependents. reptiles soon come into play and they prove to be perfection. there is no reason really to think of them as a lesser creature. they are perfect, the physiology and metabolism of reptiles and lizards is so economic, that in a  world that was incredibly hot and barren they managed to out do everything else. however, the story never left the original animal form in the background. insects, still proved to be the best and most prolific of animal species. it is here where we see the main antagonist. introduced way at the start of the play, the character now fully developed and incredibly advanced. more advanced in the story then anything else really, because something began to happen. this, is the act we enter, with the protagonist of the insects. here now is the scene and backdrop.
 roughly around the middle of the jurrasic period there was major changes going on with the earth. it wasn't just one single thing either, there was a period we think is roughly a thousand years or more of persistent super volcanoes and generally major volcanic activity. the exact reason is unclear. it could be from solar activity  or from geomagnetic terrain conditions of earth itself. the atmosphere was much different as far as how much and thick various components were of the air. uv radiation was much more pronounced. minor climate shifts were popping up. there was also heightened frequency of meteorites. we know this from the moon and the surface of venus. which shows craters that are both numerable and unchanged since that time. written in the landscape of venus. the earth has much to demonstrate this as well. as a result, the change though not highly radical was enough to start the chain of dinosaurs to begin to develop strategies for actively maintaining the temperature of their bodies. this of course is demonstrated in birds, a direct ascendant of the dinosaurs and only real reliable object of study to give us insight into how the dinosaurs changed. dinosaurs were not exactly reptiles. they would be like us to the other primates, with exclusively different traits that would vanish with them and their extinction. only hinted at , like i said with the birds.so what this demonstrates is, there was a tendency going on with life at this time. something was starting life to embrace a strategy for climate shifts and change long before the meteorite would hit the earth.

 Life was not losing. it was beginning to even gain foothold into arctic areas, as the dinosaur fossils discovered in this region depict. chance and fate were beginning a romance and their admirer life was dancing in the exotic dance of the universal song. there is however the real topic of this discussion, which enters now. wasps.
 wasps, were more or less in the picture roughly in the middle of the dinosaur dominion. they had no real fashion going. being largely like some wasps are now. singular and parasitic. they were roguish and pretty much highly barbaric in their way of life. the typical environment of insects. being kill or be killed as a  primal instinct way of life. but something strange began to happen. when, i am not very sure. but close to the extinction of dinosaurs, wasps began to do something strange. they began to group up. they also began to lay their eggs into the ground. the climate shifts had somehow forced this creature to the ground. it was a sudden and incredibly fast change. ants, are wasps. the queen is actually as close to a wasp as you can get. velvet ants are really wasps , that live like ants. how this happened, why it happened is a mystery. but for whatever reason, the previously non social animal suddenly became a social animal that totally depends on its social structure to live. usually it is here that most people nod and say they are called super organisms. truth is, they are truly the most incredible example of the cells legacy for colonization. this is where people turn away. but don't, not yet. ants, are manufacturers, they even herd and have pastoral cultures, they will even use microbial agents to fight disease and have the most elaborate social structure on earth. they can fashion items for tools.they can and will coordinated as a massive entity. pretty much a lot of what we claim we have over the other animals , ants have already mastered and perfected. long before we even existed. here is where fate and luck play a major part. if it wasn't for the asteroid and volcanoes and ice age. the ants, as a social and culture entity would own the earth. there is, really no reason at all other then this they aren't.  we would not exist. 
 some people have a hard time understanding this. but it is true, the ants were and in many ways are superior to us even now. the saving grace, is the way their intelligence works. as a colony, where ours is based on individuality. the individual sense in humans is how we have rebound from many different disasters. if we lost an important human then we had the ability to rebound and continue. ants, can not do this. they lose their queen. that spells the end. so in effect an alien super organism species exists right in front of us. technically it seems, we are not the only one.  we just lucked out.

 

 Sometimes, i am reminded at how much i would have given up , if i had succeed in killing myself when i was younger and gravely disillusioned. today i woke up and was thinking about a single strobe of sunlight, the deepest yellow in the darker embrace of the place. it was morning and , though i don't know what it was that woke me at 7am , i began to recall this scene.
the chaotic swirling of dust particles like mad galaxies following the erratic ritual of the thermal vent and it's providence on earth.the light's boundaries proving to be an illusion because the specks would just drift unanimously in their own path and fashion regardless.such spectacles made the idea of birds flying on thermal updrafts identifiable and feasible, for i could see individual specks flying as if they were golden eagles held aloft by the hands of the warmth.
every now and then a brilliant flash would remind me of the galaxy image as the dust goes unrestricted upwards sometimes going out of view in the brilliant contrast and back into view higher up.
the thing about light is, it always shows you what little you do actually see of the world, not what it is that you have always seen.the rich light of sunlight is the teacher of all animals and we all learn from it's gift of expression.sunlight gives us knowledge and warmth, companionship on days when we are alone, either at work in a field or just walking through the park seeking a new object for adoration, it is the sunlight that shows us the true beauty of things.
i cant say that i have seen the richness of greens in plants as deep or meaningful as i have seen them in sunlight.for me, sunlight has always brought providence and knowledge.it has aided me in my meager human mind understanding of what true faith is, for i can tell you that as long as life has existed there has been sunlight to lead the ambition of that entity onward.the human mind is no exception to this rule. the sun gives us such good knowledge.
i remember when i finally came around to my senses about my drinking, it was at dawn.me and the sun talking to each other in an ancient language that only our deepest ancestors know and understand.it was asking me why i was doing the things i do. why it came to pass in the reflection, something only light can create, am i hurting myself for things that i have no real control over.
our ancient ancestors, before we were humans even met with the sun on its own terms and proved worthy of it's respect. we fought it through tormenting deserts and our spirits shone in equal brightness.we succeeded because the sun, in its magnanimous way led us to where we could find respite. it taught us to survive in the worst of worlds and trained us to seek its companionship when times were needed.
the sun gives life, even to the darkest reaches of space and all of matter recognizes the magnificence to the sun.it is drawn to it. from miles that can never make coherent sense.but even in its simple ,single form , the sun is beautiful. the single ray of light can give a cat the most relished position in an entire place, such contentment, such acceptance.they say it is the small things that matter in life, actually it is the things that are immensely huge beyond fathom, and how they can surreptitiously affect us in small ways both profound and eternally present.
it is only when we turn our back on the majesty of the sunrise and the sunset that we seem to get lost in the darkness of our imagined fears.the sun, seeks to wipe those fears and show you what is really there.unbiased and unchanged. it shows you cause to believe in the universe , shows you a world that is unchanged and ancient in its ways.gives you hope and foundation.cause well, basically that is the way it has been.all changes , on earth, involve the sun.the sun remains probably the single most important knowledge next to the advent of self awareness.
never give up on yourself, never believe that the way you see is the way things are, the sun will always tell you different, always tell you to wait, one more day, because in it's wisdom it controls the day.it is hard to believe that at one time i was willing to give up this jewel , this incredible gem, with a beauty so brilliant that i cant see it directly for all it's greatness, like the eyes of ancient Greek gods. so great and so grand,so powerful and so needed. the sun is life, it gives us meaning in life. with it the coolness of water , the welcome perception of night would have no basis.colors, so rich and grand with the magical life of sunlight would have no vibrancy,nor meaning. there would be no course,no ambition..no life.
i realize now, i would never give the sun up.i would never give up life.you see, the sun is life's best friend.it seems only fitting that the sun will take the earth before it dies, an earth with no sun is lifeless.
do not ever give up on nature.it is the education of our ancestors that taught them how to face things we , in modern times could never imagine.if you have trouble at job,modern ideas of living, stupid social stuff or anything, trust in nature, it has seen this story under the sun many times.just believe in it.it usually works out.
then, i had a coffee and the human idiocy sinks in.the memory of the sunbeam leaves my mind, rhetoric and mathematics of all types enter my mind, but not without knowing, that for a brief second i had once had a conversation with the sun. you see, the sun taught me to look forward to everyday with anticipation and want of exploration, because the sun taught me to live.
have a great day.

i tell you, the mystery just gets bigger and more elusive when one tries to comprehend what happened to the earth in the primordial times. never mind that now they (nasa) are thinking that the moon pretty much is the result of another no longer existing object smacking into the earth and after mucking up the earth so much that the moon was formed alongside the earth. the gist is, the moon is made of the earth. which to the normal public would be hunky dory but to myself, i am left wondering how the rare earth metals which are deep in the earth's crust and so elusive that china, due to its having a large amount easily accessible and thereby monopolizing the best they can the trade of rare earth metals, fears the fact that the moon has the same metals on the surface. yep, they literally are worried about the exploration of the moon for this reason. anyways, how something so deep in the earth, gets whacked, then as a dust ball encircling the earth then magically makes the rare earth metals stay on the surface and then somehow obtains an orbit perfect to not even rotate,etc etc.. nasa has some good dreamers.
but this is not what has me writing today.nope today i wanna talk about crocodiles. because they are a big mystery. being roughly 280 million years in the making and the present existing genera is only about roughly 55 million years. the ones that exist today came around the Eocene era. which is roughly when horse had three toes and were roughly the size of a normal dog. the mystery, is how did they survive when pretty much every dinosaur (except them, birds ,turtles and basic lizards) vanished?
someone once suggested it was because of the area they were in. well, that would mean that the dinosaurs that existed in that same area would have survived too. as we know, there is better chance or equal chance of finding an as yet hairy hominid in north america then there is finding a dinosaur. the greater portion of this mystery gets even more profound when one considers that even the reptiles in the ocean died out. but, not the crocadilians, who had a completely aquatic type living in the ocean,quite effectively. it looked like an eel only had a crocodile type of head and four lobes for legs.
it has been suggested that the air was probably bad or a type of virus/bacterial sickness wiped out the dinosaurs.however since we have birds and they are pretty susceptible to viral disease as we in modern times have to watch out for the flu strains that they carry,this doesn't seem likely. such pathology as is present ,doesn't seem to really care about the phylum of host. it can be mammal/reptiles in most cases. besides, there would still be existing types from areas not affected. dinosaurs were everywhere.
however, there is somethings to consider when comparing crocodiles to reptiles as we understand them. the croc's determine gender in the eggs by temperature.that is how they choose sex. this is unimaginable in the time that the species has existed. i cant describe easily how messed up the climate was on earth. there was volcanic activity that caused the extinction of the dinosaurs in a large part. for roughly thousand years, massive super volcanoes were erupting and creating an erratic climate that was pretty much forcing many species of life into the edge of existence. the asteroid was the tip of the iceberg. this is how the fact that dinosaurs may have been able to regulate their body temperature,like a bird . warmblooded as it may be called. not like us, but effective. an example is how sharks can regulate their temperature,keeping warm,by using their muscles.
so, basically, in an erratic and unstable climate,how does an animal that places its eggs into a clumped up pile of vegetation and dirt or into a pit which is then compacted by the sand hope to survive , if the gender is temperature conditioned?
somehow i find the odds of them surviving any length of time through this ordeal quite incredulous.but as you all know they did. what makes it even more strange is the fact that they can group up, not attack each other, communicate in roughly 35 different sounds, some of the noises they make are so low in frequency that the human ear cant even detect it. they have sensitive skin, even know its thick and use a pheromone scent to communicate intimacy and readiness for mating.
on average , on land a crocodile can top roughly 11 or 7 mph. so whatever it was that they did, land was not the choice for the survival. in the ocean however, they can go up to 400 km and have trans-located to pretty much everywhere the climate can support them. they have the ability to swallow and hunt under water, with a fleshy cap at the throat ,to block the water when hunting submerged. they can go up to a year with no feeding if they have a big feast.they will coordinate and even appear to be able to work as a team. when a kill, or a carrion is found at the water's edge,they will group up,sometimes more then a hundred, then, while two or so hold the dead animal ,say a big cow, in place the crocodiles will line up and take turns biting and feeding, in an orderly fashion.
if there is a threat to the young,say from other crocodiles. a mother crocodile will escort them to a pond that other ones have gone to, deposit her young into the pond and the mothers will leave their young (sometimes in the order of a few hundred of them) to be watched by a single female.who takes the job on as if they were all her own.
there is no real way to understand how they have survived. when all the other dinosaurs didn't. nothing really seems to stick out as a reason. the only ideas i have so far is two fold and even then i am not sure how they work into the mystery. the first one is, i think the crocodiles that exist today (this includes the alligators and all other types) are an animal in transition. i think they were probably working for the ocean,but something happened.they ended up staying on land or shore dwelling, like for instance the sand pipers and crabs. plus a vague clue comes from the fact they have no wariness of humans.they see us as food.period. they do not know us, or recognize us the way a good portion of the land animals do. they don't have the built caution that say, wolves or lions or horses or pretty much everything else does when they encounter us. this means,they evolved and somehow managed to stay away from even our early ancestors. somehow,they do not recognize us the same way. however they do practice a degree of wariness around lions. so i have no clue. it is a mystery. a good one at that. there are many more things about crocodiles that defy the common concept of lizard/reptiles. i think, that part of the problem is, we don't think of them the right way.we have to remember that they are dinosaurs, literally. not thinking or behaving like the lizards or the birds. anyways, hope i managed to intrigue some of you.